


A Lesson in Timing, or Stop Mapping When We're in a Battle!

by Perydot



Category: Etrian Odyssey Series, Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth
Genre: Derogatory Language, Exploration, Maps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13294005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perydot/pseuds/Perydot
Summary: The Basilica Guild may be the best guild the city of Iorys has ever seen, but that doesn't mean they don't have their own quirks or their own lessons to learn.





	A Lesson in Timing, or Stop Mapping When We're in a Battle!

It was a quick turnaround from talking to Ramus at the Council Hall to stepping into crystal halls of the Lucent Caves. The tapping of the guild’s shoes against the rock hard, but clear floor and the clanking of their weapons only intermingled with the all too familiar sounds of monsters lurking around every corner. The Basilica Guild were trailblazers in Iorys. Despite being an amalgamation of the newbie adventurers who were rejected from every other guild, they’ve gone further than any other guild in the city’s history and unlocked pathways to stratums no one even knew about or thought possible. Even Solor and Lili were no match for them! But that didn’t mean they didn’t have their own… quirks.

“Let’s go that way!”

“Ow! Let go!”

“That way!”

Astr Grim swatted at the small woman on his shoulders, pain and frustrated etched onto his face, as the little Shaman pulled his hair. The giant scythe on his back swayed back and forth so much, it looked like it was about to fall off! Still, Kontomblé didn’t care at all and mercilessly tugged on his short hair, steering him towards one of the many unexplored paths in this new stratum. Little though she may be -- Astr had called her a midget the first time he saw her -- Kontomblé had more might and fight in her than a Pugilist! That’s why as soon as Astr called her the M-word, she hopped onto his back, grabbed his hair, and started driving him like a Bucking Giraffe. (It’s a very sensitive issue for the Brounis.)

“Let me go, you stupid mi—”

“Give it up, you idiot!” called a sultry voice from up ahead. Azealias, the group’s other Harbinger, a Deathguard, left their other guild members and slowly walked back towards the strong armed Shaman and suffering Deathbringer. “You should know by now you’re that girl’s slave, Astr.”

“Never!”

“I said,  _ that way! _ ”

Without further adieu, Astr made a sharp turn to the right and down another path. Azealias laughed at the utter glee and the utter dismay in their faces while Keith walked right past her. “Are you going to follow them or are you going to be a sitting Cave Duck for these monsters?” he said in a monotone voice. He didn’t stop to her answer or even glance in her direction, though he never really did. The Fencer was the most disinterested person Azealias had ever met. (And oh, how many people she's met in her life. She’s lived in  _ three  _ different countries after all!) She thought that the Harbingers would be the silent, disinterested types like the Nightseekers she knew in Tharsis, but  _ oh no _ , Keith proved her wrong completely. She thought he was mute for the longest time until they got into the labyrinth together and he started barking commands during battle. 

Keith was already meters ahead of her, his right hand resting on his rapier, his other holding the foot of the Botanist on his shoulders. Mimi’s short arms wrapped around his head, digging into his blond hair, as she dozed off. Her legs barely reached Keith’s chest, so he was courteous enough to make sure Basilica’s only healer didn’t fall.

“Keith, do you always have to be so cold?”

Silence.

“Ohhh, come on, I’m not  _ that  _ bad,” Azealias said as she rushed over to him, looking over her shoulder once.

Keith glanced over at her. “Doubtful.”

Azealias clicked her tongue. “Not doubtful.”

A sigh. “Be quiet or you’ll wake her up.”

“You know that Brouni wouldn’t wake up even if the Titans of Thrasis poked her the stomach.”

“...You keep talking.”

Azealias flicked his cheek and glared at him. “It’s a natural thing for human beings to do, you idiot. Just in case you’re not aware.”

Astr Grim and Kontomblé came into view just a few feet ahead of them. Kontomblé had finally freed Astr from her clutches and was standing next to disgruntled Harbinger. A small chunk of Astr’s dyed red hair was missing, strands of it laying on his shoulders and the floor. Kontomblé was too busy fixing the charms in her black braids to see the look of hatred Astr Grim sent her way, not that she would’ve cared anyway.

“It’s another one!” Kontomblé said in her high pitched voice. “Zea, can you break it?”

“Of course I can!” She brushed past Keith, sticking her tongue out at him. He just rolled his eyes and switched his hands’ positions. Thin though her arms may be, Azealias was able to lift heavy pickaxe Syrik had given the guild and strike the giant stalagmite until it was nothing but dust and shards. “Beat ya can't do that, Mr. Cool!” Azealias said with a wink. Keith just sighed. 

“Why do you even bother with him?” Astr said, finally done glaring at the small Shaman. “He's not interested in you.”

“Hmph! Who wouldn't be interested in  _ aaaaaall _ of this?” 

Astr scoffed as Zea flaunted her curvy body. “Plenty of people.”

“Hah! For your information,  _ plenty of people _ were interested me elsewhere!”

“And that's why you've had to move three different times.”

“Hey, how am I supposed to know someone is married?”

Keith started walking down the now open pathway, Mimi still on his back. “Will you please stop indulging her in her…  _ escapades _ and get back to our mission?” Azealias clicked her tongue and crossed her arms in a huff. 

Astr Grim rolled his eyes, but followed the leader. Kontomblé finished adjusting her braids and looked up at Azealias. “Ready to go?”

“Hmph! Fine.”

The crew continued walking through the labyrinth, mentally taking note of the draconic shards and forage spots. Azealias and Kontomblé were having a casual conversation while Keith and Astr Grim walked in relative silence. They hadn't gotten into any battles for the past while, though, and that made the remaining hairs on Astr’s head tingle. “Did Mimi have a Warding Chime in her bag?”

“No,” Keith said. 

“Do you?” Astr begrudgingly asked Kontomblé. 

“Nope!”

“Don't look at me,” Zea said before he couldn't even ask, “You know I love a fight.”

“Then why—”

Before Astr Grim could finish his question, there was a rumbling. A  _ loud _ rumbling coming from right behind them! The group had no moment to prepare for what came at them -- they couldn’t even see it with the cloud of dust that picked up. 

“Haven’t been blindsided in a while!” Azealias said. 

The loud, large monster that had come up from behind them didn’t do anything to them, thankfully… outside of scaring them and knocking Kontomble off her small feet. Astr had forgotten about his previous beef with her and quickly pulled her off the ground and right side up. A giant tortoise -- at least, that’s what it seemed to be -- had just prepared itself for the guild’s attacks after its ambush. Astr Grim grabbed his giant scythe and started muttering to himself, wondering which ailments he could possibly inflict on his heavily armored monster. “Goddamn, is there any place to hit this thing?”

“Aim for its legs!” Azealias called out to him while she moved in behind him. “Anyways, I gotcha. A Wilting Miasma coming right up!”

Kontomble went even further away from the two Harbingers, settling nicely in the back, preparing for a spell to back up her comrades. And then their leader... 

Keith was off the to the side, completely out of the way of the battle already ensuing. Astr had already attempted to paralyze the tortoise to no avail and Azealias was preparing to lower its defenses! The guild leader had found a small nook away from the battle and carefully grabbed their small healer and put her on the ground. Turns out Zea was right, Mimi didn’t so much as open her eyes to figure out what the noise was or to even prepare for healing the wounds that would inevitably come. A heavy sleeper? Not exactly the best quality in a battle medic. Still, all Keith was do was sigh -- and ignore the know-it-all look Zea gave him -- and pull out his rapier and made his way to follow up any attack Astr made.

It was a good eight rounds into the battle before any headway was really made. Finally, Astr was able to land an ailment on the stubborn monster and Keith was able to follow up with some severe damage. Kontomble had buffed the two fighters enough that the next rounds of the battle would surely be easier, but nothing else was certain. Azealias was off to the side, rummaging to her bag to find Medicas and Somas to heal Astr and Keith. “I’m so  _ sick _ of that little Brouni!” she said until her breath as she fished out what looked like her last vial of Soma. “This is  _ so _ not my job!”

But while the four man crew focused on taking down their enemy, albeit slowly, the little Brouni Azealias was talking about had finally woken up. A heavy sleeper with an absolute need for 10 hours a sleep, Mimi was just not able to explore the new stratum after a 3 hour nap in the Inn. After just battling that undead skeleton king and using up so many of her herbs, Mimi just wanted a full week’s rest, but sadly, no one in the guild listened to her… though, she probably didn’t actually say anything and just dozed off before they decided on what to do next. The little white haired Botanist rubbed the sleep from her eyes to see the scene before her.

Admittedly, she didn’t do much by way of battling. She usually just went as far as she possibly could and occasionally ran up to her fellow guild members and heal them up. Sometimes, she just sat on Keith’s shoulders, bored, until Astr or Azealias commanded her to do  _ something _ . (The Harbingers usually backed each other up, she noticed.) So, finally awake and seeing that her job was being taken care of by Azealias, Mimi did the only other thing she could in the moment. Map. “So this is where we are now…” she muttered to herself as she got her pencil out and started drawing the area around her. 

Meanwhile, the battle was not going as well as the guild hoped. The poison worked its magic and they were able to shave off small chucks of its health and the Frigid Scythes really came through for the group. But then its defenses got into overdrive and its attacks started to hit even harder now that Kontomble started to take over the healing duties for Mimi… for Azealias. Unfortunately for them, they forgot just one important item in their haste to explore the new stratum: a Nectar. And now, their major attacker, Astr Grim, was on the ground, unconscious thanks to a particularly strong  _ whack  _ of the tortoise’s tail. Azealias was attempting to fill his position, but she wasn’t doing as much damage with her Ephemeral Reaps weren’t making the cut.

“Argh, my god! Why is this so hard?” Zea growled. “Do we have to stick this one out, Keith?”

The Fencer gritted his teeth and kept his eyes on the enemy. The answer was “yes”. 

“Goddammit…” Zea grumbled as she used another miasma attack to lower the tortoise’s defenses. She prepared herself yet again to pull out of her middling Reaps when she looked over her shoulder at Mimi, just to make sure she wasn’t being attacked by any stray monsters. What she saw… just made her even more angry. “Are you kidding me right now?!”

“Azealias, will you start trying to start an argument with me and—”

“Shut up, Keith!” Zea whacked him with the dull end of her scythe and pointed towards the Botantist, her back completely turned to the Raging Tortoise. “That little munchkin over there is drawing on the goddamn map while we’re over here busting our asses!”

Keith gritted his teeth again and blocked an attack aimed straight for her. The sharp tail cut through his jacket and scraped his skin, but he ignored the pain and the blood to look over at Mimi. Azealias looked back at him, quickly, with a look of pure frustration before marching over to the little woman on the ground. “Azea—” Keith started to yell, but was cut off as he went back to battling the monster. 

“ _ Hey! _ Are you being serious right now?” Azealias nearly yelled at Mimi. The Botanist looked up from her map -- which, admittedly, was well drawn and detailed considering she was asleep the whole time they were exploring the place -- with a quizzical look. “You’re mapping  _ right now _ ?”

“...yes?”

Azealias just stared at her, getting suspiciously calmer, and then blinked a flurry of times. “Is that all you have to say?”

Mimi slowly put her pencil down. “...yes?”

The two women stared at each other for a minute while Keith and Kontomble struggled to hold off the raging monster. Keith’s wounds were starting to get worse and worse with him being the only member the tortoise was hitting. 

“I don’t know if this is a wild concept for you, Mariah,” Azealias finally said, using Mimi’s full name, “but could you, maybe, just maybe,  _ do you fucking job right now?! _ ” Mimi flinched at the way Azealias just yelled at her. (“The calm before the storm” was the accurate phrase to use at this moment.) “Astr is over here, basically fucking dead! Keith is about to get himself killed back there—” she pointed behind her “—because he has too much fucking pride to run away! And there’s no goddamn way Kontomble and I can kill this off by ourselves! So get your little munchkin ass up and  _ do something _ !”

Adrenaline pumping and her anger fueling her even more, Azealias ran back to Keith and Kontomble’s sides to try and take down the monster before she could see or hear Mimi’s response. But just two rounds of attacking and defending and buffing later, Astr Grim was groggily shoving Azealias and Kontomble behind him and Keith. Ready for battle after being revived and healed, Astr coated himself in miasma again and prepared to poison the tortoise one more time and to get the job done. Keith was finally get the patch up he needed as Mimi used her herbs to heal some of his worst wounds. “It’s about time, Mimi!” Astr Grim called out as he jumped and wound up, slicing the giant tortoise’s shell and poisoning it. “I was beginning to think I was gonna die!”

Keith just grunted as he followed up on Astr’s attack, hitting the monster twice. The tides of battle were beginning to change. With a combination of Kontomble’s buffs, Azealias’ debuffs, and two Frigid Scythes, the Basilica Guild was finally able to bring down the Raging Tortoise after almost 20 rounds. The felled monster in front of them, the guild was drenched in sweat and blood. Mimi went around to each of the members and patched up them up properly, making sure each herb did its job and making sure there were no open wounds. Kontomble went to the monster’s body and was able to grab some valuable items to sell to Syrik, the only upside to this long monster battle. When Mimi finally got to Azealias to tend to her wounds, the pair was awkward and quiet. Azealias usually didn’t have outbursts like that -- she always said her calm and sultry side won people over way more than her being bitchy -- and especially not towards the small and adorable looking Mimi. Mimi just kept her eyes on her patch up, quickly working. 

“Well…” Azealias said with a sigh, “Some apologies are in order. Mimi, you know I’m not usually like that, right?”

“Yes,” she answered with a slight pout.”

“I always say, I’ve always won—”

“‘People over with your cool, sultry side way more than being bitchy,’” Mimi, Keith, and Astr Grim said in unison.

“Exactly!” Azealias said proudly, ignoring the looks on each other their faces. Keith just rolled his eyes and walked towards the tortoise’s corpse, the Monstrous Codex in hand. Astr just laughed and Mimi finished tending to her Azealias’ wounds. “I don’t  _ usually _ have outbursts like that and especially not towards someone as cute as you, Mimi!” Zea pinched both of her cheeks and said a string of meaningless words in baby talk.

“I think you can stop now, Zea,” Astr Grim said, lightly hitting her arm. “I think she knows she’s cute as a button now.”

Mimi moved to free her cheeks from Azealias grasp, but the Deathguard tightened her grip. “Just one thing, Mimi,” she said as a smile formed on her face. “Stop fucking mapping when we’re in a battle.”

“Ow! Okay, okay!” Mimi squeaked. Azealias finally let go and moved to stand up, using Astr’s shoulder as leverage. Mimi rubbed her now sore cheeks, bright red where Azealias fingers dug in. Zea left the two and walked over to Keith and Kontomble, linking her arm through Keith’s with a smirk. “Where to, Leader?”

Keith stared at her blankly before snapping the codex closed and ignoring her question completely. “Are you all ready?”

Astr Grim poked Mimi in her sore, red cheek, much to her chagrin, and motioned to his head. “Hurry up, pipsqueak, or we’ll leave you behind.” Mimi climbed his back and rested her legs on his shoulders, her arms wrapped around his head. As Astr Grim stood up, the Basilica Guild continued on their journey through the Yggdrasil labyrinth… though, they made sure to keep an eye -- and ear -- out for another one of those tortoises. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the fact that I am notorious for getting in a battle and then spending way too much time filling in my maps instead of preparing for whatever random encounter (or worse, boss fight). It's a bad habit and I wish I had someone like Azealias to force me to stop. 
> 
> This is based on my actual guild in EOV (or well, just one configuration of my guild because I have so many people), so don't question the names.


End file.
